Saturday, April 17, 2010

can I get a glass of milk with that, granma

1/3 of Americans believe the Bible should be taken literal.
1/2 of Americans believe in the rapture.
1/5 of Americans believe the rapture will take place in their life time.

Maybe Jeff who according to "nobody cooler Schuler" "is da man" can let us know if those stats seem about right for those north of the border?

I have no idea what percentage of Americans will be caught up in the rapture. I know about 70% of Americans claim to be Christians, but only God knows. But for the sake of this post, let's assume you wake up tomorrow and 25% of the population is missing.

Your sweet granma is one of those missing. That kind, sweet ole lady that you could always count on for love and support, and who made a damn good brownie is gone. Do you remember her words about how the Lord was coming back for her. Or do you chalk it up to alien abductions or some bizarre coincidence. Or are you just happy all the Bible thumpers are gone?

Deuces, feeno


  1. Belief in the rapture is pretty much the epitome of supernatural superstition which can only be believed by the gullible aided by the largest confirmation bias known to man. Of those who take it seriously, nobody really seems to know when the rapture will even occur. Every guesstimate thus far has failed miserably. And this is even further evidence that it is a fictitious imagining of the religious imagination.

    A series of Great Disappointments:

    * 1792 - Shakers calculated the rapture would occur at this time. FAILED.

    * 1844 - William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. FAILED.

    * 1977 - William M. Branham predicted in 1962 that the Rapture could take place by 1977. FAILED.

    * 1981 - Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981. FAILED.

    * 1988 - Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant. FAILED.

    * 1989 - Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years. FAILED.

    * 1992 - Korean group "Mission for the Coming Days" predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture. FAILED.

    * 1993 - Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. FAILED.

    * 1994 - Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 27, 1994. FAILED.

    * 2011 - Harold Camping's revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture. Although, this date will pass too with nothing to do.

     2060 - Sir Isaac Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.

    It’s hard to avoid the apparent millennialism and superstitious nonsense driving these Tribulation claims. Of course, if Newton’s final date also passes us by then Christians will once again have to reformulate their predictions, and since there is no further data to factor in which can be calculated, their predictions will basically be a desperate act of grasping as straws not wanting to admit the inevitable defeat—and the fact that Jesus did not return according to the predictions derived from scripture.

    I guess one who believes in it can say that only time will tell. Well, maybe, but I would just like to add, considering the dubiousness of the belief in the first place… it’s highly unlikely that the rapture is anything to take seriously.

    So on that note, I am happy to inform, that I will be sitting down to have a glass of milk with me Me-Mah without having to worry about her mysteriously vanishing before my eyes. What a relief!

  2. T-Vick

    Nice response. Last week my Pastor touched on a little of this stuff. He also showed us a clip from the movie "2012". And then he even connected how some people use the Bible to line up with the Mayans' revelation and how the world will end in 2012.

    This coming Wednesday I will be teaching on this subject as well to my 7th and 8th graders. I will be using the list you just gave me as our starting point. It's a great list, thank you. But then we will be discussing 1 Thessalonians 5:1-11 and then Matthew 24:36-44.

    A quick overview of my lesson will be something like this; no one knows the day of the Lord. We are to live like he is coming back soon. Don't live like he's not. And what should we be doing until his return.

    Do you remember when you were still in the church and celebrated the Lord's supper what Christ told His disciples? He said "but I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father's Kingdom".

    I will tell my class that those who prophecy about dates and times of the Lord's return are not following scripture. They may not be bad people, just wrong. Although I suspect some are just trying to sell a book or launder a movie deal?

    You call your granma "Me-Mah? We called ours Mammy-Clo. That might be a good post. What did you call your granma?

    Peace be with ya, feeno

  3. I went to a Catholic school, and they never said anything about the rapture. I didn't even know what it was until a couple years ago, when I met a born-again Christian who told me about it. I have to say, I didn't even know what a born-again Christian was, so that was quite a culture shock. So this whole story of the Rapture is quite unusual to me.

    I have to question Feeno's numbers:

    "1/3 of Americans believe the Bible should be taken literal.
    1/2 of Americans believe in the rapture."

    1/2 is bigger than 1/3. As a tile layer, I'm sure you know that! Are you actually saying that not everybody who believes in the Rapture thinks the Bible should be taken literally?

    1/2 of Americans... that seems like a lot.

    BTW, I had a weird dream recently where you were installing a tile floor in my kitchen. It looked nice, except you cut yourself again and were trying to make your own stitches. I was like, "dude, I can drive you to the hospital, they have lidocaine."

  4. Lordship

    I thought the same thing when I typed these numbers in, but yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

    Although the numbers might be skewed a little? It might be about 90% believe in the rapture in South Carolina. So it's not like 50% across the board?

    I also went to Catholic Schools, I'm not sure what their official position is, but all my Catholics friends and family certainly believe there will be a day that the Lord comes back for His saints. The word "rapture" isn't even mentioned in the Bible. We get that word from where it says "caught up" in 2nd Thessalonians. So, maybe Catholics just don't use that term?

    That was a crazy arse dream. The best part is when you say "it looked nice". That's way to funny.

    Late, feen

  5. Well, I found this site that gives some Gallup stats from 2004. It says that about 1/6 of Canadians believe in the Bible literally. So pretty much, Americans have twice the proportion.

    But anyway...I will admit that if I wake up one day and hear on the news that a large chunk of the population is missing (in a way that's consistent with how the rapture is supposed to happen), and the churches seem to be largely empty, that it would likely make me believe that the rapture happened. I guess I'd likely be on my knees pretty quickly. Of course, that would be because there would suddenly be strong, concrete evidence of God's existence.

    But really, I'm not holding my breath. I see it as about as likely as the whole 2012 thing. Which is to say, not likely at all.

  6. My father is an atheist, and my mother is a "token" Christian when it suits her. Needless to say, I had very little, to no religious instruction in my home growing up. The first time that I ever heard of the Rapture was in Grade 7 at school. I had a crazy teacher, who looking back, was quite troubled and traumatized; she had had her younger daughter die two years before and was slipping into the abyss. She told us all about it, and I now can identify it as being delusional and fanatical. But, for a kid like me, it terrified me. I can remember not being able to sleep I was so shocked by it.

    Nevertheless, I am back to where I began. I have come full circle. And, judging from the way that most Christians blatantly misinterpret and manipulate the Bible to suit their needs, I think that I have a better chance of disappearing than most of them. Not that I even remotely believe in any of it. Just saying is all.

  7. Fee said...."Your sweet granma is one of those missing. That kind, sweet ole lady that you could always count on for love and support, and who made a damn good brownie is gone. Do you remember her words about how the Lord was coming back for her. Or do you chalk it up to alien abductions or some bizarre coincidence."

    These are not christians you are discribing Feeno ....If they was this way,why would we have all the very many differing groups among christianity that we do already have today feeno ?.

    The real facts are christians in general are not really such kind sweet people "that you could always count on for love and support".If they honestly were,then we wouldnt see all the very many devisions that we do actually see.

    Why not at least be a little honest and get a little real Fee .Faithful folk are often bogot types who feel need to think themselves better than others and seem to often feel great about being devided.

    Its fine if you simply wish to keep your head in the sand and be faithful in thinking your wonderful thoughts about folks of faith ....But faithful thoughts dont nessarily add up to anything of whats actaully honest and truthful they

    My grandma was a selfrightious bigoted judgemetle person .I dont blame her personally though!,because i know she read the cursed bible and i look around me and see so very very many other bible readers who also have these very tendensys .Its backed up by the fact we can all see they so very often seem! to feel a special need to be seperate and be devided into special faith groups.

  8. Fee said...."Or are you just happy all the Bible thumpers are gone?"

    Maybe there is some god that nobody knew about,who actually happened to prefer people never tried guessing about god!.A god who had decided if he wanted to be known,he could have and would have easily made himself known.Being he was God!

    Who now was very angry !! at the many faithful who caused so much pain and suffering for so very long,by trying to guess about what god had already decided they need not know!.

    And the faithful had been removed for reason that God had finally had a guts full and enough of these many trouble making faith guessers.

    And so the reason the faithful had gone was infact because god finally decided to dispose of them.

    Feeno you faithful are so sure of yourself, you think you have supposedly reserved yourself some special place.

    What i find so very weird,is you simply turn a blind eye to all the pain,suffering and trouble your god guesswork has caused.You so easily feel you can take the liberty of wiping your hands clean of any involvement in any of it

    You think stuff like ohh i might have promoted faith,but i wasnt personally involved in any faith that actually harmed people.Is enough.

    Yet to me it seems like some pro white person saying yeah so what ... im pro white and i think people should be ok promoting their pro white type thinking,but look i didnt personally be involved in hurting anyone through my belief of pro white thinking.And even if i was for continued promotion of pro white thinking,i will accept no responsiblity for anyone hurt and suffering through the continued promotion of this thinking

    Sure its an excuse.And it might serve to prop up faithful conciences.

    But personally i think its a very feeble excuse.

    If i woke up tomorrow and saw all the faithful were gone.Vanished

    Id think thank f**k for that! ..about bloody time too!

    Hopefully now people will atleast stop blowing themselves up for Muhammad and hopefully Palistinians and Israelies etc can forget about bothering to fight over stupid shrines or wailing walls or what ever ....Stupid stuff that has always fired their anger and caused endless ongoing strife and death.

    Unlike Jeff .....I`d still much rather rot in some hell,than need to spend eternity with the very many thoughtless faithful folks of this world who`s old laws of "religious freedoms" had happened to also allow for so much continued pain and suffering.

    It sickens me enough already in this life hearing faithful folks try to pretend they honestly care that abusive faith made life like hell on earth for some of us.

    Imagine if i had to also listen to these bullshiting faithful folks worthless crap words, for some eternity.....You really expect this would be what id actually considder some type of heaven ?.

    L.o.L ..... Im happy where ever i end up after death......Just so long as there is no faithful guess workers.

  9. Gandopolis

    Just when I was starting to miss you, you come storming back, better than ever. You might be the most consistent person I've ever known. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. The tide rolls in and the tide rolls out. And you my friend are as sure as death and taxes.

    you asked "Why do we have differing groups amongst Christianity"? I addressed this on Nov. 30 2009 in a post titled "Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders...(sorry, still can't link)

    The scenario you just described is actually one of the most popular ways many Believers think is how those "left behind" will be duped by the anti-christ. He will tell you how he got rid of all the A-holes.

    When someone is shot dead, many people want to blame guns. Not me, I want to blame the shooter.

    When religion causes harm, (blow up a building) you want to ban religion. I don't. I want to
    punish those who blow up buildings.

    If someone can't handle drinking, they shouldn't drink.

    If someone can't handle gambling, they shouldn't gamble.

    And you know what, some people can't handle religion. And if those people "break some sort of law" then punish them, but it's not fair you hatin' on those that want to serve their God.

    You said "I'm happy where ever I end up after death.....Just so long as there is no faithful guess workers".

    Don't worry. When we die, no one will need faith.

    Who can make the sun rise, and sprinkle it with dew, cover it with chocolate and add a miracle or two..
    ...the Gandy man, the Gandy man can, cause he mixes it with love and makes the world feel good.

    Although your a bit of a dag, I always get happy when you stop by.

    Late, feeno

  10. hum... brownies.

    Good to see you too again feeno :)

    To reply to your personal note on Rod's blog, I was not away, I am just harassing him, and only him. He is my hero! lol

    I try to have honest and serious discussion and he simply results to insult, or avoid the arguments, or attack a straw man he derived from the argument, anything but going to the point.

    What's funny is that he replies more to the stupid stuff I say than the good stuff. But I think he does not get that...

    Anyway, have a good one!

  11. 原來這世上能跟你共同領略一個笑話的人竟如此難得........................................

  12. Now I want you to listen to this little f*cker...


    When I see your UGLY FACE I understand why you are an atheist

    the really SHARP END OF OCCAM’S RAZOR…

    they mix SKEPTICISM with ATHEISM…


    with the atheists:

    they start begging when they start dying...


    with their LIVES...



    but you have NO ANSWER TO DEATH... therefore you FAIL...






    Shermer - Harris - Myers - Dawkins - Randi VS. NOSTRADAMUS - EINSTEIN - MARKUZE

    you're ANNIHILATED!


    Repent and turn to God.

  13. Feeno said....."When someone is shot dead, many people want to blame guns. Not me, I want to blame the shooter.

    When religion causes harm, (blow up a building) you want to ban religion. I don't. I want to
    punish those who blow up buildings.

    If someone can't handle drinking, they shouldn't drink.

    If someone can't handle gambling, they shouldn't gamble."

    And if somebody cant handle getting aborted,they shouldnt get involved in abortion

    Feeno get real man.....Stop making feeble excuses so your religion gets free rein ....Do christians like honesty?

    What didnt your bible reading manage to teach you about humans not actually being perfect?

    Are you still so gullable to really think humans can exist without regulation?

    Do you really believe we dont need regulation of things like speed limits etc .....Would you like to suggest if people cant handle fast speed then they shouldnt speed.

    What about those killed by speed freaks ...What if it was your daughter getting killed? ...would you only wish to punish the speed freak after your daughters already been killed ? ....or would you prefer some regulation your daughter gets a decent chance not to need to suffer what could actually hopefully be stopped before it happens.

    You would much prefer to regulate speed so your daughter gets a decent chance at life right....because its your daugher and you care right

    Why then wont you allow humans the same right to have a decent chance at life by being protected by some regulation of religious faith.

    Because its somebody else mocosins that you personally dont need to try wearing? ....Because its not you on the recieving end of nasty faith?

    Dont christianity care about others?

    No it dont does it.....Its a farse

    It pretends to care ....but as usual actions speak much louder that bullshit words

    And all faithful folks really have to offer is feeble excuses.

    I feel i really did the right thing dropping my faith.....Seems faith causes much blindness and great ignorance

    Sad ....but still so easy to see that its very true

  14. Nobody said anything about banning religion either.Thats just a knee jerk reaction by faithful not likeing the idea of any restraint.

    There is a very bid difference between regulation and banning.

  15. G, silly rabbit trix are for kids. We already have gun laws, and laws against blowing up buildings and driving laws, that's my whole point. Punish those that break these laws. We can't punish people ahead of time because they might break a law because someone in their church did?

    We can agree, I also believe in regulating and not banning. See, we are like 2 peas in a pod.

    Later, feeno

  16. I admit my knee-jerk reaction to your question was that I would be thrilled to see all the Bible thumpers gone. But after thinking about it for a minute, I thought maybe the world would be pretty dull if no one argued about religion ---more peaceful, but dull.

    I don't believe in the rapture, but, gee, I don't believe in alien abductions either. I guess I'd have to search for a rational scientific explanation.