Thursday, December 17, 2009

Seasons Greetings

Every year me my wife and girls pile in the car a day or two before Christmas and drive around our town looking at Christmas Lights. My town, just like yours has the one weird guy whose on the news every year because he has a billion lights on his house.We check him out every year, then a few others then we go home.

I can't see how this activity could cause so much controversy, thank God err I mean thank your lucky stars these lights are now called "Holiday Lights". If they weren't, they'd really be offensive.

I know this time of year can be tough on many Atheists. So as usual I am here to help. Let's see how Angie O'neil makes it through these difficult times as an Atheist. She already meets once a week at a Mexican Restaurant for the weekly "Atheist Happy Hour", but this time of year they kick it up a notch and throw a Winter Solstice party. (And charity drive). At this party they can tell one another what stores to avoid. I guess some "blare" religious Christmas music. And they can help each other find all the places to shop for Christmas cards without all the horrible messages of hope and peace crammed inside of them.

The rest of this story is about few Atheists who seem bitter that Christians "stole" their holiday, even tho it has pagan roots?

You can check it out for yourself if you wish. (Sorry I don't know how to link and stuff.)

There is a picture of a sultry Atheist cougar chick that might be worth checking out?

One last thought, do Atheists think people might get saved by walking through stores that blare Christmas music or see a pretty light display?

Merry Christmas bitches.



  1. Since the URL you posted is a 404, I'll have to guess at what's going on. However, I don't have to think too hard...

    The "War on Christmas" doesn't need atheists, you've just chosen to focus on the few bored atheists who needed attention this season (bless their poor, little S.A.D. affected psyches). Christians have fought over Christmas amongst themselves for centuries, without the help of atheists, Jews, Muslims, or anyone else. You know, those Puritans everyone was so proud of just a few months ago at Thanksgiving really hated Christmas (part of why they were kicked out of England... can you blame the Brits?).

    Christian 1: "Christmas is great!"
    Christian 2: "Christmas is pagan!"
    Christian 1: "Yeah well, it's when Jesus was born!"
    Christian 2: "No, it isn't!"

    And which stores to avoid? Are you kidding me? Christians have been shouting, "Don't shop there, it's not Christian enough!" all season. That's what psychologists call, "projection."

    I feel bad for the employees who have to hear Christmas music over and over. I'm usually in and out before it has me worshipping Santa, Frosty, Rudolph, and all the other Christmas gods, but I empathize with the poor sales people. Also, which songs are about hope and peace? Most are about hoping it snows and saving Christmas from being a presentless failure.

    Happy Christian crucifixion complex, feeno!

  2. To be honest, I really despise Christmas.

    I think that it is materialistic. Instead of doing charitable acts within our communities, we destroy more trees with wrapping paper, cards and crap that gets thrown out. Once my parents die, I will never do it again.

  3. Ginx

    My bad, try this if you wish?

    Hello Tink, I can definetly see what you mean, I kinda agree with you except for the part about despising it. I still love this time of year. I'm glad to see you still make your parents happy. And my sincerest wishes to you and yours.

    peace, feeno

  4. Here ya go:

    I personally don't really care about the whole religious aspect of Christmas. Atheists have a variety of approaches. Some yell and scream about the religious parts, others just quietly suffer through it, others just don't really care about it or don't mind it, and yet others actually enjoy the religious aspects. I don't have a problem with saying, "Merry Christmas" or putting up a Christmas tree, singing (religious) Christmas carols, etc. I think it's all part of the season. What I don't like is when Christians try to claim that the winter season is "theirs" and try to force everyone else to enjoy Christmas. And I know that's a limited few, but they're noisy, and annoying. Christians don't have a monopoly on the holiday season, and considering they co-opted it from the Romans, it's merely a matter of selective amnesia on their part to claim that December is for Christians.

    But if you want to wish me a Merry Christmas instead of a Happy Holidays, I'm not going to tear out your throat. As gets mentioned many times during this season, it's the thought that counts. If someone wanted to wish me a Happy Hanukkah, I'd be just as pleased. It's about getting together with family and celebrating the coming winter and the birth of a new year in whatever way your family, culture, or religion does it. Who cares whether I spin a dreidel or decorate a tree?

  5. You're right. Christians didn't steal our holiday, it wasn't ours in the first place. Pagans aren't atheists either.

    Rather, it's gradually being stolen from Christianity. It has a new, comprehensive, alternative mythology - one which nobody over the age of ten is expected to actually believe - ready to substitute for the Jesus story: that of Santa Claus, Rudolph and the elves. Even many Christians encourage these myths, and whole families of nominal Christians may barely consider Jesus at all, once they get home from their twice-a-year trip to church. That's why people like Mike Huckabee go on TV at about this time to remind people of the "reason for the season".

    Christmas is becoming increasingly secularised, to the point where even the word Christmas implies no more Christian sentiment than Christopher Hitchens. So I wish people a merry Christmas, and mean it, and I'm happy when they wish it back.

    I'd like to know whether any Christians actually think atheists or Jews might be saved by hearing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" in K-Mart. Seems to me it's useless to both sides.

  6. LOL at the story. Why is she afraid to go in a church for festivities? There's cookies! I'm sure she can sit in the back and read a book if there's some pre-requisite service.

    Only thing funnier than a Christian with a crucifixion complex is an atheist with one.

  7. Blows me away abit, that these celebrations were once mostly simply about the sun the family, friends, community and promise of the future together.

    Now its associated to faiths that have often devided folks families and communities.

    Every year the cry "merry christmas" has a rather strange ring to it for me personally.The excommunication and shunning attitude of "Christianity" has actually been involved in desolving my own families "merry attitude".Personally for me Christmas has become kind of like a nasty reminder of what the christian cult does.Christian cry "merry christmas",is like a a rapist celbrating "merry rapist" around rape victims

    However im still very much all for folks being merry and celebrating and showing kindness towards each other.I get something good out of seeing other families still together and enjoying life.

    I cant help thinking the holiday deserves a much more deserving name!!....Considdering the mega turmoil and unhappiness christianity has caused "merry christmas" just dont really fit right.It only makes the holiday the commercial lie that its become.

  8. Christmas even causes a stir in New Zealand too.

  9. G

    I don't even want to think about what they'd do to us under the mistletoe at a merry rapist day celebration.

    But I think we all (Atheists/Christians) can agree no matter what our beliefs, Christmas is a bit over commercialized. And if we can spend a little extra time around those we care about, then cool.

    Late, feeno


    That reminds me of this gem. For the last 10 or 12 years I have worked with my friend Mike. He doesn't call himself an Atheist, he calls himself some sort of Agnostic. But any way his wife who doesn't believe in the Christian God either is being made to work on Christmas Eve. I guess they figure this holiday is more important to "Believers" and they should get that time off before non-believers.

    Any validity to that thought process?

    Dueces Mooses, feeno

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  12. I love Christmas! I love the presents, the lights, the smells of candy bread and eggnog, and of course I love getting stuff.

    I even like the magic flying reindeer, the snowmen killing each other in the front yard, one with a shovel impaling his pal, and the other with a cigarette lighter and a bottle of Jack D. ready to set the other one on flames. My snowmen are brutal to each other.

    And the elves. We can't forget them. I mean, they're Christmassy right?

    Pretty Santa helpers decked in candy apple red in the mall wearing little mini skirts and getting my wife angry at me for staring too hard at their lovely stocking smooth legs.

    All of this is great season fun! And a good boost in the arm to a dwindling economy. And every once in a while I pass a nativity scene, and I pause, and ask myself, what is this holiday about again? And then just as quickly, I forget, because who cares? It's Christmas! Snow ball fights, sledding, skiing, hot chocolate by the fire, a good book, a loyal dog at your feet, and "It's a Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Story" playing endlessly in the background on television.

    It's about the atmosphere... spending time with family... sitting back and reflecting on life and thanking goodness that I'm lucky not to be hungry or freezing out there like so many unfortunate souls plagued by a godless universe that didn't favor them.

    And that's why I need the presents and gifts! To snap me out of the deep bouts of depression I get when I think about it too much--all those poor souls waiting outside of the local Walmart for the soup van.

    Luckily Grams likes to spike the eggnog... and Maria Carry's "All I want for Christmas Is You" playing somewhere in the distance, cuddling up next to my gorgeous wife, the baby asleep in the crib. And I quietly light my Kawanza candles, put the dreidel away, turn off the twinkle lights on our pagan Christmas tree, and let the snow pad a silent night as we all slumber hoping to hear those soft jingle bells and pitter patter of hooves on the roof.

    I'll leave the cookies and milk out for you Feeno.

  13. T-Vick

    That was awesome, but what Mall are those Santa's helpers in?

    Laet, feen

  14. "...But any way his wife who doesn't believe in the Christian God either is being made to work on Christmas Eve. I guess they figure this holiday is more important to "Believers" and they should get that time off before non-believers."

    Jeez, I don't think that's at all fair - I think non-believers have families too. When you say "made to work", do you mean that her employer is aware of her non-religious beliefs and chose her to work for that reason? Because if so, she likely has grounds for a discrimination lawsuit...

  15. Over commercialized?

    feeno, that's Communism! You're stealing my gig!!